Road Report #2: My Buddy and Me

When I'm on the road my constant companion is my hotel television. One of my recent hotels where I spent seven long nights had an extremely limited channel selection. My two favorite channels--MTV and BRAVO--of course were not available. My other standby is TBS. Great for some laughs at The Office or Sex and the City. The picture is available, but the audio is really loud static. I think it's worse then not having it all because I can see what I'm missing. There are five channels in different languages and three freaking ESPNs. None of the big networks have started up their shows again, so the pickings are very slim. I repeat VERY slim. I thought I'd highlight some of the programs I am occupying my time with:

--Wifeswap: The drag-racing, messy, hick mom and the neat freak, image-obssessed mom ended up learning a lot from each other. It was heartwarming. No it wasn't. It was weird and awkward and I felt pathetic watching it.
--Dog the Bounty Hunter: Why is he dressed like that? And how are his wife's boobs so insanely large?--Mystery Diagnosis: As if I wasn't already paranoid about the health of my unborn children. Now I have to worry about melancholeractictheria too.
--Man vs. Wild: It was like a car wreck. I could not look away, but was so disturbed at the same time. Bear Grylls threw himself into some sort of mossy quicksand, but luckily he had a large dead sheep lying next to him. As his body was being engulfed by the moss, he proceeded to use the sheep as sort of a life preserver, throwing himself on top of it and wraggling his way out. It was disgusting.

I've moved on to a new hotel with a much more acceptable array of channels. Next week is a big with the premiers of Dancing with the Stars (who isn't excited to see Kim Kardashian's booty shakin' to the mambo?) and The Office. Things are looking up.