On His Way Up?

Don't ask me how it happened, but through some sort of online search I suddenly entered Ryan Cabrera's Myspace page and was absolutely aghast at what I found.

Let's all take a trip down memory lane...it was 2004 and Joe Simpson, the business man/father he is, somehow convinced MTV to bring America into the life of his youngest daughter Ashlee's drama-ridden life. As if Jessica and Newlyweds wasn't enough for us. We got a front row seat to the ups and downs of her new life as a musician and her awkward, PDA-filled romance with Ryan Cabrera. It seemed so convenient that Ryan was also an aspiring artist who just happened to be getting national exposure because of his business...I mean romantic relationship with Ashlee.

What I remember most about Ryan is not his melodious voice or his killer guitar riffs--I remember his hair. It was out of control. To this day, I do not know another person (famous or not) who has the need to spike their hair to such heights. I mean it was out of control! And with the blonde highlights to top it off, only delusional teenie-boppers with their raging hormones could call him attractive. Needless to say, he needed a makeover.

Once he broke up with Ashlee and the rest of America realized he was a piece of crap musician, we didn't hear or see from our spiky-haired friend for a very long time. So what HAS he been doing for the past four years you wonder???

Reinventing his image.

Please observe the picture to the right. That is indeed the same strapping young man who wowed the world with "On The Way Down." Makeover much? Can you understand my utter shock when I saw the new Ryan Cabrera?!?! While he is going for the I-look-like-I-don't-care-about-my-looks-so-that-makes-me-super-sexy look, I promise you he spends more time time coloring his hair, scrunching it with various gels and mousses, and keeping his unshaven look shaved, then he ever did before with his flat iron and hair gel. Seriously. You can find more proof of Ryan's drastic changes at http://www.myspace.com/ryancabrera.

And to Ashlee...Pete Wentz is a major upgrade. Even with the eye liner. Good work.